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THE PASSION OF BONNIE |
by Bruce Cornet
Table
of Contents
HOW
CAN ONE PERSON SURVIVE SO MANY TRAGEDIES?
MEMORIES
IN THE TWILIGHT OF MY LIFE
JUST WHEN WE THOUGHT SHE WAS SAFE
Who was Bonnie? Here is a woman who lived only 40
years, was married three times, and had two children, one by each of her two
first husbands. By one measure she was blessed with a father who was very
loving and who earned a substantial income that allowed her family to enjoy
many of the finer things in life while she grew up. By another measure she had
an extremely tragic life filled with child abuse by her mother, physical and
mental abuse by her first two husbands, and illness during the last ten years
of her life that can only be described as apocalyptic by her and by those who
knew her. Our story is similar to that depicted in the movies, Terms of
Endearment, Urban Cowboy, Always, and Ghost.
Terms of Endearment was filmed in Houston, TX, during the time
we lived there. Anyone who is faced with a life-threatening illness, such as
cancer, will need no introduction to this type of tragedy. Picture taken
in March 1984.
In Memory and Reflection
Bonnie was born in Baltimore, MD, on 18 June 1950
at 1:38 am, and given the name Bonnie Lee Harrington. Her father's
genealogy is Scottish, while her mother was born to Jewish immigrants from
Russia. Bonnie learned to speak some Russian through her grandmother, who
was born in Russia.
Her older brother told me that as children their
mother would give Bonnie and him tranquilizers and sleeping pills in order to
control them and keep them quiet. What kind of a mother was she? Bonnie told me
how as a small child she walked into her parents' bedroom unannounced and found
her mother in bed with someone whom she thought was her father. Her mother
ordered her out of the bedroom before she could discover who he was. When her
father came home from work she ran up the stairs calling to him, wanting to
know why he came home earlier that day without saying hello to her. Her mother
ran out of the bedroom, knocked her down the stairs with her fist in order to
shut her up, and then claimed that she fell. That fall gave her a severe
concussion. Bonnie blamed the appearance of petite mal seizures later in
childhood on that brain injury. Eventually the damage led to grand mal
seizures in adulthood, requiring constant medication.
Her mother on occasion when very angry with her
father hired a moving company, and when her father was at work had everything
in the house moved out. Her father came home to an empty house several times
during her childhood! Presumably because of his forgiving nature he did not
divorce her when she did this. Or did her mother have knowledge of something
that had to be kept "in the family"? The child abuse by the mother,
which was largely concealed from her father, resulted in delinquent behavior in
both children. That abuse led Bonnie to choose a jealous and abusive man for
her first husband.
The Harringtons had a large cottage in upper New
York State at Gilpin Bay on Lower Saranac Lake. Bonnie told me of the
many summers she spent there water skiing, boat riding, and hiking. I
took a trip in 1990 to see that cottage for myself. What she described
was what I found, nestled in woods on a hillside overlooking the lake.
The setting reminded me of the cottage I spent many summers at in northwestern
Connecticut. Even though the main building had been improved from its
log-cabin appearance when Bonnie went there (siding now forms a shell around
the original log cabin), I marvelled at the number of smaller cottages and
buildings connected to form a small village. I saw the stuffed head of a
large moose hanging over the stone fireplace, as Bonnie had described.
The Tiffany lamp still hung over the main dining table. Bonnie had many
fond memories of her childhood experiences there, and she loved to relate them to
me.
Bonnie attended Collingswood High School, which
was located behind her parents' house in Collingswood, NJ.
For those television buffs, you may recall that
Michael Landon graduated from that very same high school. I find it
ironic that Landon became the Star in the television series, Highway to Heaven,
because it now seems that two people who graduated from that school embarked on
a similar journey on that same highway. Bonnie graduated in 1968.
Bonnie got married on 10 October 1968 to Greg
Nathan, her high school sweetheart in a very large ceremony and at a Catholic
wedding in Oaklyn, NJ. Little did she know at the time, but she married
into a mob family. She told me that her guest list included the names of some
of the most notorious hit men in the mob.
Bonnie being led down the isle by her father.
At first the marriage was idealistic as the couple
settled into an apartment in Oaklyn, NJ, not too far from the Catholic church
where they had gotten married. Bonnie soon became pregnant with
Billy. He was born on 20 July 1969 at the exact moment Neil Armstrong
stepped onto the Moon.
But Greg was soon drafted into the Army, and was
gone for long periods of time. This put a lot of stress on the young marriage,
especially after Bonnie became pregnant with Billy. Greg was prone to violent
tempter tantrums, and he was very jealous of his new wife, who had been so
popular in high school that she was invited to every Senior Prom, even as a
Freshman. After having difficulty adjusting to a military lifestyle, and after
Bonnie moved in with her aunt in Florida in order to be close to him, the Army
agreed to allow Bonnie to live on the base with Greg when he was stationed in
Alabama. But Greg mistreated Bonnie when on leave, taking his jealousy and
anger out on her in the form of physical abuse. He constantly suspected her of
cheating on him. The physical abuse escalated over a period of several years
until one morning he exploded in rage when she offered to fix him breakfast in
bed. He interpreted that offer as a sign of guilt over having been unfaithful
to him. Their marriage ended that morning when he killed her (medical diagnosis
of death) with a blow to her lower back, which ruptured her kidney. She
collapsed to the floor in great pain, and then went unconscious.
The next thing Bonnie knew she was viewing a
doctor and nurses trying to save her in a hospital emergency room. She
saw them cover her body with a sheet and move it to the morgue. She was
out of her body. No psychiatrist would convince her otherwise. The
Intern who had tried to save her stayed with her body. When he was alone
in the morgue, he began praying for her. She told me that she could
"hear" his thoughts, but no sounds (shades of the movie,
Ghost). She knew she was out of her body, because she no longer felt any
pain. She said the feeling was one of absolute and indescribable
bliss. As she looked down at him standing next to her body, she saw him
praying as he looked at her face. He began crying over losing his first
patient, someone so young and so beautiful. She "heard" his
prayers, and then began to feel his tears drop on her face. She said she
could not bear to see him cry for her, and thought that his emotional pain was
far worse to bear than the physical pain of a broken body. She decided to
re-enter her body in order to stop him from crying. The next thing she
knew she was back in her body. She woke up to find a body tag on her
toe. You can imagine the Intern's shock and elation. Today her
revival would not be considered a miracle - just a misdiagnosis of death; that
is, a near-death experience!
After a miraculous recovery, she moved back in
with her parents in Collingswood, NJ. The only business with Greg that
remained was finalizing a divorce and getting custody of Billy. About a
year later, however, she met Bill on a blind date. She said she got married in
order to get out of her parents' house and away from her mother. She called her
second marriage a marriage of convenience. She regarded her move as a temporary
life raft, and it did give her an opportunity to prove herself in this world,
gain some self-respect, and reach a modicum of success. On 25 April 1974 Chuck
William Marzi was born to Bonnie and Bill Marzi.
In 1975 Bonnie and Bill moved back to 428 Richey
Ave. in Collingswood, New Jersey, but this time into the upstairs apartment in
a duplex owned by Bonnie's father. Up until May 1977 Bonnie remained a
housewife and mother, taking care of two children, while Bill continued to work
at IBM as a computer hardware specialist (he now works for NASA as a computer
hardware consultant). But Bonnie became restless, and wanted to do something
more in line with a growing career interest in the medical profession. On 2 May
she began a three month course in hypnosis taught by Jim Forberg and Susan G.,
three nights a week at the Alpha Institute in Cherry Hill, NJ. This was also
the same month my wife Ginny and I moved down to Houston, Texas, to begin my
new job at Gulf Oil Corporation after completing a doctorate degree at Penn
State. For both Bonnie and me, this was a time of major change in our careers.
Later in November she took private sessions to improve skills at hypnosis with
Isabel B. and Forberg.
In May she also started taking classes at
GeorgeAnn's Finishing and Modeling School in Oaklyn, NJ, in order to become a
professional model. She remembered her first experience at modeling
back-to-school clothes at Bamberger's Department Store when she was 14, and
wanted to try modeling again. She was nearly 27, and for the first time since
high school she began taking action towards improving herself. Problems with
her parents and ex-husband seemed to be just bad nightmares in her past. But
some of the worst trials and experiences of her life had not yet happened, and
fortunately they did not descend on her until she had reached professional
success and excellence in her life. For the next 28 months Bonnie would grow
and blossom into a flower even more beautiful than before. She was Bonnie! This
was a period of learning and preparation for her.
On 20 July 1977 Bonnie got her diploma for
successfully completing a program in Professional Hypnosis Training at the Alpha
Institute. On 18 August she and Bill purchase their first house at 238 Lincoln
Ave. in Collingswood. It was an old but beautiful two story white house with a
regal facade of columns for the front porch, and a big back yard for the kids.
On 10 November she joined the Hypnotists Union, Local No. 477, and began
planning to go into business with Jim Forberg, her former teacher. The only
thing that went wrong that year was her receiving a neck and back injury in a
car accident. During the summer she was sitting in her parked Renault at a
shopping market when she was struck from behind by a drunk teenage driver. She
had to sue her own insurance company for money to cover her medical expenses,
because the driver was uninsured. She said she got whiplash and pulled shoulder
muscles, and wore a neck brace for awhile. Her medical claims amounted to over
$1,300. She would complain later on in life about her neck and back giving her
problems, and attribute her discomfort to that accident. She also stayed off
another legal attempt by Greg to get custody of Billy.
In a letter to me dated 19 December 1991, Jim
Forberg recalled the events surrounding his meeting Bonnie:
"In the middle seventies I was in partnership
with Susan [G.], in a company called Alpha Institute in Cherry Hill, New
Jersey. We formed the company to practice hypnosis therapy and also to teach
the ethical practice of Hypnosis to professionals that could use the altered
state in their practice. The door was open also to individuals who were
contemplating the use of hypnosis in various fields of endeavor.
"The exact date escapes me, but sometime
during 1977 Bonnie signed up for classes in the practice of Hypnosis. There
seemed to be a deep recognition that occurred when we first met. I seemed to
have known her forever, and yet we were strangers in this time. The same was
true for Bonnie, but I didn't find that out for some time. She did extremely
well in the practice sessions, and also in the written exams we gave all of our
students.
"Over the months of her schooling I noticed
that she was very comfortable in all contacts with me, and I was flattered that
such a young and attractive woman wasn't put off by an older man [he was in his
50's]. This closeness made it much easier for us to work together in the
various areas of hypnosis.
"Bonnie of course graduated from the course,
but continued to stop by the office and allow me to perform various hypnosis
techniques so that she could understand more of the practice.
"It didn't surprise me that my partner
started to get upset that I was paying some attention to Bonnie. The working
relationship between myself and Susan (my partner) kept deteriorating and I
wasn't too happy with the partnership. Bonnie surprised me one day and asked if
I would set up an office with her. If I remember correctly I was somewhat non
committal since I was having difficulty with Susan (a young woman and partner).
"It came as quite a surprise to me when
Bonnie showed me some papers to sign for a corporation consisting of myself and
her. She had hired a lawyer to draw them up, and they needed only signatures
and action by the state.
"I talked to Susan about withdrawing from the
partnership and she wasn't happy about that at all. She was aware that most of
the patients we were seeing came because of my name and experience.
Nevertheless I did withdraw from the partnership at some expense. Susan was
going to sue because she was aware that the office would probably fold if I
left. That was just the wrong move for her to take since I am fiercely
independent. In order to avoid a long drawn out court battle, I gave her a sum
of money, and the partnership was dissolved.
"Shortly after that I entered into a
corporation with Bonnie. This wasn't without some trepidation since I wasn't
having much luck in business with young women.
"We eventually set up for business at 228 E.
Kings Highway in Haddonfield, NJ. This was an old building that had been
re-worked from an old home, into a commercial building that included a druggist
on the ground floor, and our office on the second floor. Eventually we
discovered that a closet in our office space hid a long staircase that
descended all the way to the basement of the building." That staircase
took on special importance later during their partnership when they began
exploring paranormal phenomena.
1978 started off with a bang. She began teaching
her first course on hypnosis, started her own corporation (Alpha II), opened an
office with her partner Jim Forberg in Haddonfield, and started private and
group therapy sessions for patients, all in January. Bonnie even wrote a 110
page Professional Hypnotists course manual. She also had time to practice
modeling for an upcoming designer's show, and take care of two children. In
February she taught a course in self confidence, five more hypnosis classes,
appeared at her first modeling show at the Crazy Horse Saloon, did mannequin
modeling at a shop in the Cherry Hill mall, and appeared on the WMID radio show
charity drive for the Leukemia Society of America. She also taught a course in
how to read tarot cards for the Guild of Relaxologists. She even felt self-confident
enough to treat her own mother for reducing smoking.
During that year Jim and Bonnie had 214 private
and group sessions with patients for everything from weight loss, gambling,
study habits, preparation for taking exams, tension, acute migraines, emotional
sensitivity, mother-daughter relationships, trauma from teenage rape, comfort
in sex relations, to psychotherapy, psychosomatic phobias, cancer pain, and
paralysis. Together as a team they completed their first hypnotists course of
ten classes. In March she and Jim appeared twice on the channel 6 TV program
"Perspective: New Jersey", and talked about their work in
hypnotherapy. They demonstrated hypnosis on television - the first time that
had ever been done, with Bonnie playing the patient. Because of that show, she
said their business jumped considerably and their reputation spread. It is that
demonstration for television that I saw on public access television in October
1983 in Houston, TX. In March they also gave a talk on hypnosis at the Kiwanis
International Club, and Bonnie appeared in Yankee Models Pageant in Boston and
in a Disco World Fashion show.
In April and May of 1978 they taught two more
hypnotists courses in addition to handling a rigorous schedule of patients.
They also gave an invited lecture and demonstration for Introduction to Psychology
at Trenton State College. Bonnie passed the rigid oral, written, and practical
exam for membership in the Guild of Ethical Hypnotists, and received her
certificate in April. That same month she became certified as a member of the
International Guild of Relaxologists. They gave talks at the Rotary Club and
Jaycees on hypnosis, and later that year began teaching a course called Peppy
Riechtner Advanced Classes. They also found time in October through December to
teach courses in parapsychology and self-hypnosis at Fort Dix. She even
participated in the Miss America parade in Atlantic City, standing up front on
the float carrying the 1978 Miss America winner.
If you want to get original buyer’s
guide for:
Everything was going well and her future seemed
bright until her husband lost his job in July. Bill was a heavy drinker, and he
began to drink himself unconscious after he was laid off from IBM during that
company's decline. She said she frequently came home to find beer cans
littering the entire livingroom floor. Bonnie said that she rarely had sex with
him after the first year of marriage because of his obnoxious behavior when he
was drunk and insensitivity when they made love. Bonnie now had to take care of
three children, one of which was an adult. In a signed note Bill wrote:
"Because of my current income, I am unable to provide for William a normal
standard of living." Bonnie had to turn to welfare assistance, because she
was now getting no support for Billy from either Greg or Bill. Somehow she
managed to meet her financial obligations, but the added stress began to show
in her health.
In early March 1978 she began having severe pain
from menstrual cramps, and was put on lasix by Dr. J. in Haddonfield, NJ, to
control her menstrual period. This is the oldest record I have for medical
problems that continued to plague her for the rest of her life. In April there
was a change in pattern of scheduling appointments, with more cancellations and
sessions grouped together as if she were trying to maintain income but was not
able to work every day. This change in scheduling happened most often when Jim
Forberg was away on military duty in the reserves. In July she was admitted to
the hospital for D&C and menorrhagia. Her periods were severe with excess
bleeding (preclampsia). She then developed severe sharp pain in her right upper
quadrant, which caused her to collapse and vomit. She had a gall bladder exam
and other lab tests in late July. In August she was admitted to Garden State
Community Hospital for a month long evaluation. Doctors discovered lactose
intolerance, cyclic edema, and idiopathic hypoglycemia. There was no
explanation for her bouts with pain, however. From September through December
Bonnie's work calendar shrank to just teaching courses and handling a few
select patients. In early October she was diagnosed as having considerable
dysmenorrhea and discomfort from non-calcareous cholexystitis. A week later she
was admitted to Our Lady of Lourdes Hospital in Camden, NJ, for six days for
withdrawal symptomatology from morphine sulfate. Jim handled her patients. In
late December Bonnie was diagnosed with upper respiratory tract infection,
nasal congestion, cough productive of phlegm, fever and tender cervical
adenopathy. She was placed on a regimin of elexophyllin, keflex, penicillin,
and percodan for pain.
In January of 1979 Bonnie's health improved and
she returned to handling her special patients while Jim handled the other
patients. Together they taught Professional Hypnotists and Self-hypnosis
classes through mid-March. During March Bonnie separated from Bill, who had not
found a job, expected her to support him, and would not move out of their
Lincoln Avenue house so that it could be sold. She rented a house at 60 E.
Stiles Avenue in Haddonfield, just down the street from her office. Because of
a dwindling source of income from her private practice, and because of
increasing medical expenses, Bonnie started a part time job on 27 March as a
claims adjuster for American International Companies (AIG) to increase her
income and get medical insurance. Her annual compensation was only $6,760, but
the medical benefits would be worth much more. She had an overwhelming feeling
that she had to qualify for full medical coverage soon. Her pension date when
she would qualify for full coverage was 1 October 1979, almost seven months
away.
Her concern over money and lack of support from
Bill are indicated in an undated letter: "Money is a real problem with
you. You spend when you cannot afford to. It was only a matter of a couple
weeks after I ran into money problems at Richey Ave. that you cut me off from
sex, and stopped taking care of the house and kids [She went out looking for
additional income; he didn't want to do women's work]. Once you left me, my
problems started to disappear. You do not want me to have any personell [sic]
contact with you, but at the same time expect me to do things for you. You
can't have both. Bill."
In another undated letter to Bonnie, Bill reveals
a state of mind heavily influenced by his drinking problem: "I am not
saying that you and Jim are having a affair, but what ever it is, you have made
it important enough to give up a marriage, home, and send Billy back to his
father. It is also the same reason you went to work. When you talk about Jim or
driving his car, I feel you are rubbing it in my face. I also know that you
would not talk to me unless you need or want something. I also feel that the
only time I get to see Chuckie is when you need a baby sitter. Bon, I had all
this botteled [sic] up in me when I saw you Sunday. Inclosed [sic] is the $2 I
had promised you. I hope this will be the last time that you use me. Good luck
with your new life. Bill."
In the letter to me from Forberg (dated 19
December 1991), Jim wrote:
"During these times I was also employed by
the U.S. Government (D.O.D.) as a trouble shooter for radar systems, gunsights
(fighters), special weapons delivery systems (atomic) and rocket systems [he
was involved in developing the SMART bomb, which was used in the Gulf War]. I
was also teaching self-defense classes in the use of karate. All in all I was
very busy.
"Most every evening, and some weekends though
Bonnie and I would do the therapy and teaching that she would schedule for
those times. After the scheduled sessions we would generally trade hypnosis
sessions with each other as a method of relaxation. During one of these
sessions while Bonnie was in a deep state she informed me that there was a lost
and tortured soul in the basement of our office building. Her impression was
that this woman had been retarded, and not quite sane as a child and her
parents kept her in the basement of the building for most of her life. She
eventually died and was buried in the basement to obviate any questions from
the officials. Bonnie tried to reassure the spirit and show her how to move on
to the place of light and serenity.
"If I recall this occurred several times
before there seemed to be quiet from the basement. Many times after our
scheduled sessions were over and I was inducing hypnosis in Bonnie I would sit
on the bed next to her as I talked, and the bed, Bonnie and myself
would all lift up in the air five or six inches and just kind of float there
[my italics]. As I recall there wasn't any other phenomena during these times,
just a kind of pleasant little rocking motion. It never was ascertained if
Bonnie was causing this or myself or possibly a spirit entity.
"At the time Bonnie's health was
deteriorating and a great deal of the money we were taking in was going out for
her doctors and medicine. Eventually it became necessary to leave the office we
were in and set up in the home she was renting. She was working days as an
insurance adjuster or something, but even that she would have to leave because
of health problems. This was the job though that she finally did get a small
pension from.
"During these not so good days we would often
indulge ourselves with regression sessions as a means of relaxation. It was
during these sessions that Bonnie would report a [past] life as a southern
woman that was shot from the balcony of her home by a soldier [during the Civil
War]. She would also report a lifetime as an Indian woman, and mention a
waterfall near her teepee."
In another letter dated 19 December 1994
(coincidentally the same date as the previous letter) Forberg indicated that
there was something strange and frightening to her that he would encounter in
hypnotic recall during many of her relaxation sessions:
"One experience that always disturbed me was
something that happened many times. After she was deeply relaxed (in Hypnosis)
she would say "Oh-Oh no, I don't want to go." She would say this in
her own typical quavering voice she would use when upset or frightened. You
lived with her for a long time; you may have heard that voice when she was ill,
or in pain. When I would bring her back to full consciousness, I would ask her
where she didn't want to go, and she would always look at me with a question in
her deep dark eyes and finally say, "I don't know. It seemed strange and
frightening, and I didn't want to go there, but I don't know where there
is."
"This may have been a memory of an abduction
you talk about. In our work with one another as far as I can remember we never
tried to delve into alien abduction information, since to our conscious minds
neither of us was involved or had knowledge of these things. There was one time
when we were invited to a talk given by a man and his wife about their own
abduction [possibly 25 May 1978], and we went. We found it interesting, but as
a man who has been studying physics for years I am highly skeptical of physical
space-time travel over the immense distances involved between systems. I am
however keenly aware of the various possibilities in the Quantum dimensions for
instant travel from one edge of the Universe to the other.
"Bonnie was interested, as I was, but she
made no searching questions to the abductees. I was aware over the time period
that we worked together that Bonnie looked to me for protection. I always
assumed it was protection from her first husband. Bonnie told me he could get
pretty mean sometimes. Since I was also a second degree black belt instructor,
she probably felt a little safer. Hind sight makes me wonder if maybe she felt
protected also by a strong, controlled consciousness."
In that same letter he recounted three episodes
when Bonnie suddenly stopped breathing and collapsed: "There were at least
three times when I had to use mouth to mouth resuscitation on Bonnie when she
stopped breathing. The triggers for these events always seemed to be excessive
physical pleasure, and/or emotional over-involvement. After the first time it
happened I watched her very carefully. I was of the opinion then that it was a
symptom of her epilepsy. Generally I would watch for nearly a minute for her to
start breathing again on her own. When she didn't I would breath for her a
couple of times. She would shudder a little and begin breathing again on her
own. There never seemed to be any memory on her part that she was not with us during
those episodes. I felt it better at the time that she didn't know in case it
would upset her." I also experienced those events before they developed
into grand mal seizures.
On 20 May 1979 Bonnie graduated from GeorgeAnn's
Finishing and Modeling School. The graduation ceremony was held at the Silver
Lake Inn. It had taken her just a year to earn her degree while carrying out
all her many responsibilities. Jim Forberg escorted her, since she was
separated from her husband. She wore a formal full-length white flowing dress
with layered sleeves and blouse, white gloves, and a crown-like hair band.
Graduation pictures of her show a radiant smile on a thin and anemic looking
face, evidence of her declining state of health.
Very little activity is indicated during the
summer in the Alpha II patient schedule book, except for teaching courses. She
continued to work as an insurance adjuster. Most of the time she had just
enough money to meet basic expenses such as food, rent, and electricity, but
neither her husband or ex-husband were helping to support the children. She
recalled buying the least expensive foods possible, and accepting charity
whenever it came her way. Her son Billy told me that during this period he
spent as much time with his father as with his mother. By September, however,
her health and financial situation had deteriorated to the point that she had
to apply for additional welfare money, listing increased child care costs.
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Copyright Bruce Cornet 1999
Last updated: 10/01/2005
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