Gerald Clevin's Eggplant Pizza
(written by Gerald, and sworn to be the yummiest pizza by his wife Kimmie!)

1 Eggplant
2 Eggs
1 Cup flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
1 tsp oregano
1/4 cup vegetable oil (or, better yet, coconut oil)

8oz Tomato sauce
Parsley flakes
Lots of shredded mozzarella cheese
8oz can of black olive slices (optional)

1Qt ziploc bag
Low-rising bowl big enough to dip an eggplant slice in (sandwich size tupperware is nice)
Spatula, because fingers are averse to hot oil
Frying pan (preferably cast iron because it rocks)
Baking sheet


1) Preheat oven to 350.
2) Render eggplant into 1/4 inch circle slices.
3) Mix flour, salt, pepper, oregano in ziploc bag.
4) Mix two eggs in dipping bowl.
5) Heat oil in pan to medium high (coconut oil will melt quickly).
6) For each eggplant slice:
dip slice in egg, both sides
drop slice in ziploc bag and shake
set slice on baking sheet (spacing is unimportant, eggplant pizza is not claustrophobic)

Once slices are finished or sheet is full (whichever comes first), top each with tomato sauce.
Sprinkle generously with parsley (and optionally some more oregano if you like), and cheese (in that order).
Top with black olives and bake for 12 minutes.
Carefully remove from oven and eat with rapture.
Smile with a full belly.

Note: I will not be held responsible for burnt mouths or fingers, empty pantries, or weird faces of revulsion (yes, there are some weirdos that don't like eggplant.)

Sidenote: Before baking, fry the flour-covered eggplant slices in the previously heated oil until brown and kinda crunchy (the middle should still be soggilicious).