INTRODUCTION
Who was
Bonnie? Here is a woman who lived only 40 years, was married three times, and had two
children, one by each of her two first husbands. By one measure she was blessed with a
father who was very loving and who earned a substantial income that allowed her family to
enjoy many of the finer things in life while she grew up. By another measure she had an
extremely tragic life filled with child abuse by her mother, physical and mental abuse by
her first two husbands, and illness during the last ten years of her life that can only be
described as apocalyptic by her and by those who knew her. Our story is similar to that
depicted in the movies, Terms of Endearment, Urban Cowboy, Always,
and Ghost. Terms of Endearment was filmed in Houston, TX, during
the time we lived there. Anyone who is faced with a life-threatening illness, such as
cancer, will need no introduction to this type of tragedy. Picture taken in March
1984.
In Memory
and Reflection
Bonnie was
born in Baltimore, MD, on 18 June 1950 at 1:38 am, and given the name Bonnie Lee
Harrington.
Her father's genealogy is Scottish, while her mother was born to Jewish immigrants from
Russia. Bonnie learned to speak some Russian through her grandmother, who was born
in Russia.
Her older brother
told me that as children their mother would give Bonnie and him tranquilizers and sleeping
pills in order to control them and keep them quiet. What kind of a mother was she? Bonnie
told me how as a small child she walked into her parents' bedroom unannounced and found
her mother in bed with someone whom she thought was her father. Her mother ordered her out
of the bedroom before she could discover who he was. When her father came home from work
she ran up the stairs calling to him, wanting to know why he came home earlier that day
without saying hello to her. Her mother ran out of the bedroom, knocked her down the
stairs with her fist in order to shut her up, and then claimed that she fell. That fall
gave her a severe concussion. Bonnie blamed the appearance of petite mal seizures
later in childhood on that brain injury. Eventually the damage led to grand mal
seizures in adulthood, requiring constant medication.
Her mother on
occasion when very angry with her father hired a moving company, and when her father was
at work had everything in the house moved out. Her father came home to an empty house
several times during her childhood! Presumably because of his forgiving nature he did not
divorce her when she did this. Or did her mother have knowledge of something that had to
be kept "in the family"? The child abuse by the mother, which was largely
concealed from her father, resulted in delinquent behavior in both children. That abuse
led Bonnie to choose a jealous and abusive man for her first husband.
The Harringtons
had a large cottage in upper New York State at Gilpin Bay on Lower Saranac Lake.
Bonnie told me of the many summers she spent there water skiing, boat riding, and
hiking. I took a trip in 1990 to see that cottage for myself. What she
described was what I found, nestled in woods on a hillside overlooking the lake. The
setting reminded me of the cottage I spent many summers at in northwestern
Connecticut. Even though the main building had been improved from its log-cabin
appearance when Bonnie went there (siding now forms a shell around the original log
cabin), I marvelled at the number of smaller cottages and buildings connected to form a
small village. I saw the stuffed head of a large moose hanging over the stone
fireplace, as Bonnie had described. The Tiffany lamp still hung over the main dining
table. Bonnie had many fond memories of her childhood experiences there, and she
loved to relate them to me.
Bonnie attended Collingswood
High School, which was located behind her parents' house in Collingswood, NJ.
For those television
buffs, you may recall that Michael Landon graduated from that very same high school.
I find it ironic that Landon became the Star in the television series, Highway to Heaven,
because it now seems that two people who graduated from that school embarked on a similar
journey on that same highway. Bonnie graduated in 1968.
Bonnie got
married on 10 October 1968 to Greg Nathan, her high school sweetheart in a very large
ceremony and at a Catholic wedding in Oaklyn, NJ. Little did she know at the time,
but she married into a mob family. She told me that her guest list included the names of some of the most
notorious hit men in the mob.
Bonnie being led down the isle
by her father.
At first the
marriage was idealistic as the couple settled into an apartment in Oaklyn, NJ, not too far
from the Catholic church where they had gotten married. Bonnie soon became pregnant
with Billy. He was born on 20 July 1969 at the exact moment Neil Armstrong stepped
onto the Moon.
But Greg was
soon drafted into the Army, and was gone for long periods of time. This put a lot of
stress on the young marriage, especially after Bonnie became pregnant with Billy. Greg was
prone to violent tempter tantrums, and he was very jealous of his new wife, who had been
so popular in high school that she was invited to every Senior Prom, even as a Freshman.
After having difficulty adjusting to a military lifestyle, and after Bonnie moved in with
her aunt in Florida in order to be close to him, the Army agreed to allow Bonnie to live
on the base with Greg when he was stationed in Alabama. But Greg mistreated Bonnie when on
leave, taking his jealousy and anger out on her in the form of physical abuse. He
constantly suspected her of cheating on him. The physical abuse escalated over a period of
several years until one morning he exploded in rage when she offered to fix him breakfast
in bed. He interpreted that offer as a sign of guilt over having been unfaithful to him.
Their marriage ended that morning when he killed her (medical diagnosis of death) with a
blow to her lower back, which ruptured her kidney. She collapsed to the floor in great
pain, and then went unconscious.
The next
thing Bonnie knew she was viewing a doctor and nurses trying to save her in a hospital
emergency room. She saw them cover her body with a sheet and move it to the
morgue. She was out of her body. No psychiatrist would convince her
otherwise. The Intern who had tried to save her stayed with her body. When he
was alone in the morgue, he began praying for her. She told me that she could
"hear" his thoughts, but no sounds (shades of the movie, Ghost). She knew
she was out of her body, because she no longer felt any pain. She said the feeling
was one of absolute and indescribable bliss. As she looked down at him standing next
to her body, she saw him praying as he looked at her face. He began crying over
losing his first patient, someone so young and so beautiful. She "heard"
his prayers, and then began to feel his tears drop on her face. She said she could
not bear to see him cry for her, and thought that his emotional pain was far worse to bear
than the physical pain of a broken body. She decided to re-enter her body in order
to stop him from crying. The next thing she knew she was back in her body.
She woke up to find a body tag on her toe. You can imagine the Intern's shock and
elation. Today her revival would not be considered a miracle - just a misdiagnosis
of death; that is, a near-death experience!
After a
miraculous recovery, she moved back in with her parents in Collingswood, NJ. The
only business with Greg that remained was finalizing a divorce and getting custody of
Billy. About a year later, however, she met Bill on a blind date. She said she got
married in order to get out of her parents' house and away from her mother. She called her
second marriage a marriage of convenience. She regarded her move as a temporary life raft,
and it did give her an opportunity to prove herself in this world, gain some self-respect,
and reach a modicum of success. On 25 April 1974 Chuck William Marzi was born to Bonnie
and Bill Marzi.
In 1975
Bonnie and Bill moved back to 428 Richey Ave. in Collingswood, New Jersey, but this time
into the upstairs apartment in a duplex owned by Bonnie's father. Up until May 1977 Bonnie
remained a housewife and mother, taking care of two children, while Bill continued to work
at IBM as a computer hardware specialist (he now works for NASA as a computer hardware
consultant). But Bonnie became restless, and wanted to do something more in line with a
growing career interest in the medical profession. On 2 May she began a three month course
in hypnosis taught by Jim Forberg and Susan G., three nights a week at the Alpha Institute
in Cherry Hill, NJ. This was also the same month my wife Ginny and I moved down to
Houston, Texas, to begin my new job at Gulf Oil Corporation after completing a doctorate
degree at Penn State. For both Bonnie and me, this was a time of major change in our
careers. Later in November she took private sessions to improve skills at hypnosis with
Isabel B. and Forberg.
In May she also
started taking classes at GeorgeAnn's Finishing and Modeling School in Oaklyn, NJ, in
order to become a professional model. She remembered her first experience at modeling
back-to-school clothes at Bamberger's Department Store when she was 14, and wanted to try
modeling again. She was nearly 27, and for the first time since high school she began
taking action towards improving herself. Problems with her parents and ex-husband seemed
to be just bad nightmares in her past. But some of the worst trials and experiences of her
life had not yet happened, and fortunately they did not descend on her until she had
reached professional success and excellence in her life. For the next 28 months Bonnie
would grow and blossom into a flower even more beautiful than before. She was Bonnie! This
was a period of learning and preparation for her.
On 20 July
1977 Bonnie got her diploma for successfully completing a program in Professional Hypnosis
Training at the Alpha Institute. On 18 August she and Bill purchase their first house at
238 Lincoln Ave. in Collingswood. It was an old but beautiful two story white house with a
regal facade of columns for the front porch, and a big back yard for the kids. On 10
November she joined the Hypnotists Union, Local No. 477, and began planning to go into
business with Jim Forberg, her former teacher. The only thing that went wrong that year
was her receiving a neck and back injury in a car accident. During the summer she was
sitting in her parked Renault at a shopping market when she was struck from behind by a
drunk teenage driver. She had to sue her own insurance company for money to cover her
medical expenses, because the driver was uninsured. She said she got whiplash and pulled
shoulder muscles, and wore a neck brace for awhile. Her medical claims amounted to over
$1,300. She would complain later on in life about her neck and back giving her problems,
and attribute her discomfort to that accident. She also stayed off another legal attempt
by Greg to get custody of Billy.
In a letter
to me dated 19 December 1991, Jim Forberg recalled the events surrounding his meeting
Bonnie:
"In the
middle seventies I was in partnership with Susan [G.], in a company called Alpha Institute
in Cherry Hill, New Jersey. We formed the company to practice hypnosis therapy and also to
teach the ethical practice of Hypnosis to professionals that could use the altered state
in their practice. The door was open also to individuals who were contemplating the use of
hypnosis in various fields of endeavor.
"The
exact date escapes me, but sometime during 1977 Bonnie signed up for classes in the
practice of Hypnosis. There seemed to be a deep recognition that occurred when we first
met. I seemed to have known her forever, and yet we were strangers in this time. The same
was true for Bonnie, but I didn't find that out for some time. She did extremely well in
the practice sessions, and also in the written exams we gave all of our students.
"Over
the months of her schooling I noticed that she was very comfortable in all contacts with
me, and I was flattered that such a young and attractive woman wasn't put off by an older
man [he was in his 50's]. This closeness made it much easier for us to work together in
the various areas of hypnosis.
"Bonnie
of course graduated from the course, but continued to stop by the office and allow me to
perform various hypnosis techniques so that she could understand more of the practice.
"It
didn't surprise me that my partner started to get upset that I was paying some attention
to Bonnie. The working relationship between myself and Susan (my partner) kept
deteriorating and I wasn't too happy with the partnership. Bonnie surprised me one day and
asked if I would set up an office with her. If I remember correctly I was somewhat non
committal since I was having difficulty with Susan (a young woman and partner).
"It came
as quite a surprise to me when Bonnie showed me some papers to sign for a corporation
consisting of myself and her. She had hired a lawyer to draw them up, and they needed only
signatures and action by the state.
"I
talked to Susan about withdrawing from the partnership and she wasn't happy about that at
all. She was aware that most of the patients we were seeing came because of my name and
experience. Nevertheless I did withdraw from the partnership at some expense. Susan was
going to sue because she was aware that the office would probably fold if I left. That was
just the wrong move for her to take since I am fiercely independent. In order to avoid a
long drawn out court battle, I gave her a sum of money, and the partnership was dissolved.
"Shortly
after that I entered into a corporation with Bonnie. This wasn't without some trepidation
since I wasn't having much luck in business with young women.
"We
eventually set up for business at 228 E. Kings Highway in Haddonfield, NJ. This was an old
building that had been re-worked from an old home, into a commercial building that
included a druggist on the ground floor, and our office on the second floor. Eventually we
discovered that a closet in our office space hid a long staircase that descended all the
way to the basement of the building." That staircase took on special importance later
during their partnership when they began exploring paranormal phenomena.
1978 started
off with a bang. She began teaching her first course on hypnosis, started her own
corporation (Alpha II), opened an office with her partner Jim Forberg in Haddonfield, and
started private and group therapy sessions for patients, all in January. Bonnie even wrote
a 110 page Professional Hypnotists course manual. She also had time to practice modeling
for an upcoming designer's show, and take care of two children. In February she taught a
course in self confidence, five more hypnosis classes, appeared at her first modeling show
at the Crazy Horse Saloon, did mannequin modeling at a shop in the Cherry Hill mall, and
appeared on the WMID radio show charity drive for the Leukemia Society of America. She
also taught a course in how to read tarot cards for the Guild of Relaxologists. She even
felt self-confident enough to treat her own mother for reducing smoking.
During that
year Jim and Bonnie had 214 private and group sessions with patients for everything from
weight loss, gambling, study habits, preparation for taking exams, tension, acute
migraines, emotional sensitivity, mother-daughter relationships, trauma from teenage rape,
comfort in sex relations, to psychotherapy, psychosomatic phobias, cancer pain, and
paralysis. Together as a team they completed their first hypnotists course of ten classes.
In March she and Jim appeared twice on the channel 6 TV program "Perspective: New
Jersey", and talked about their work in hypnotherapy. They demonstrated hypnosis on
television - the first time that had ever been done, with Bonnie playing the patient.
Because of that show, she said their business jumped considerably and their reputation
spread. It is that demonstration for television that I saw on public access television in
October 1983 in Houston, TX. In March they also gave a talk on hypnosis at the Kiwanis
International Club, and Bonnie appeared in Yankee Models Pageant in Boston and in a Disco
World Fashion show.
In April and
May of 1978 they taught two more hypnotists courses in addition to handling a rigorous
schedule of patients. They also gave an invited lecture and demonstration for Introduction
to Psychology at Trenton State College. Bonnie passed the rigid oral, written, and
practical exam for membership in the Guild of Ethical Hypnotists, and received her
certificate in April. That same month she became certified as a member of the
International Guild of Relaxologists. They gave talks at the Rotary Club and Jaycees on
hypnosis, and later that year began teaching a course called Peppy Riechtner Advanced
Classes. They also found time in October through December to teach courses in
parapsychology and self-hypnosis at Fort Dix. She even participated in the Miss America
parade in Atlantic City, standing up front on the float carrying the 1978 Miss America
winner.
Everything
was going well and her future seemed bright until her husband lost his job in July. Bill
was a heavy drinker, and he began to drink himself unconscious after he was laid off from
IBM during that company's decline. She said she frequently came home to find beer cans
littering the entire livingroom floor. Bonnie said that she rarely had sex with him after
the first year of marriage because of his obnoxious behavior when he was drunk and
insensitivity when they made love. Bonnie now had to take care of three children, one of
which was an adult. In a signed note Bill wrote: "Because of my current income, I am
unable to provide for William a normal standard of living." Bonnie had to turn to
welfare assistance, because she was now getting no support for Billy from either Greg or
Bill. Somehow she managed to meet her financial obligations, but the added stress began to
show in her health.
In early
March 1978 she began having severe pain from menstrual cramps, and was put on lasix by Dr.
J. in Haddonfield, NJ, to control her menstrual period. This is the oldest record I have
for medical problems that continued to plague her for the rest of her life. In April there
was a change in pattern of scheduling appointments, with more cancellations and sessions
grouped together as if she were trying to maintain income but was not able to work every
day. This change in scheduling happened most often when Jim Forberg was away on military
duty in the reserves. In July she was admitted to the hospital for D&C and
menorrhagia. Her periods were severe with excess bleeding (preclampsia). She then
developed severe sharp pain in her right upper quadrant, which caused her to collapse and
vomit. She had a gall bladder exam and other lab tests in late July. In August she was
admitted to Garden State Community Hospital for a month long evaluation. Doctors
discovered lactose intolerance, cyclic edema, and idiopathic hypoglycemia. There was no
explanation for her bouts with pain, however. From September through December Bonnie's
work calendar shrank to just teaching courses and handling a few select patients. In early
October she was diagnosed as having considerable dysmenorrhea and discomfort from
non-calcareous cholexystitis. A week later she was admitted to Our Lady of Lourdes
Hospital in Camden, NJ, for six days for withdrawal symptomatology from morphine sulfate.
Jim handled her patients. In late December Bonnie was diagnosed with upper respiratory
tract infection, nasal congestion, cough productive of phlegm, fever and tender cervical
adenopathy. She was placed on a regimin of elexophyllin, keflex, penicillin, and percodan
for pain.
In January of
1979 Bonnie's health improved and she returned to handling her special patients while Jim
handled the other patients. Together they taught Professional Hypnotists and Self-hypnosis
classes through mid-March. During March Bonnie separated from Bill, who had not found a
job, expected her to support him, and would not move out of their Lincoln Avenue house so
that it could be sold. She rented a house at 60 E. Stiles Avenue in Haddonfield, just down
the street from her office. Because of a dwindling source of income from her private
practice, and because of increasing medical expenses, Bonnie started a part time job on 27
March as a claims adjuster for American International Companies (AIG) to increase her
income and get medical insurance. Her annual compensation was only $6,760, but the medical
benefits would be worth much more. She had an overwhelming feeling that she had to qualify
for full medical coverage soon. Her pension date when she would qualify for full coverage
was 1 October 1979, almost seven months away.
Her concern
over money and lack of support from Bill are indicated in an undated letter: "Money
is a real problem with you. You spend when you cannot afford to. It was only a matter of a
couple weeks after I ran into money problems at Richey Ave. that you cut me off from sex,
and stopped taking care of the house and kids [She went out looking for additional income;
he didn't want to do women's work]. Once you left me, my problems started to disappear.
You do not want me to have any personell [sic] contact with you, but at the same time
expect me to do things for you. You can't have both. Bill."
In another
undated letter to Bonnie, Bill reveals a state of mind heavily influenced by his drinking
problem: "I am not saying that you and Jim are having a affair, but what ever it is,
you have made it important enough to give up a marriage, home, and send Billy back to his
father. It is also the same reason you went to work. When you talk about Jim or driving
his car, I feel you are rubbing it in my face. I also know that you would not talk to me
unless you need or want something. I also feel that the only time I get to see Chuckie is
when you need a baby sitter. Bon, I had all this botteled [sic] up in me when I saw you
Sunday. Inclosed [sic] is the $2 I had promised you. I hope this will be the last time
that you use me. Good luck with your new life. Bill."
In the letter
to me from Forberg (dated 19 December 1991), Jim wrote:
"During
these times I was also employed by the U.S. Government (D.O.D.) as a trouble shooter for
radar systems, gunsights (fighters), special weapons delivery systems (atomic) and rocket
systems [he was involved in developing the SMART bomb, which was used in the Gulf War]. I
was also teaching self-defense classes in the use of karate. All in all I was very busy.
"Most
every evening, and some weekends though Bonnie and I would do the therapy and teaching
that she would schedule for those times. After the scheduled sessions we would generally
trade hypnosis sessions with each other as a method of relaxation. During one of these
sessions while Bonnie was in a deep state she informed me that there was a lost and
tortured soul in the basement of our office building. Her impression was that this woman
had been retarded, and not quite sane as a child and her parents kept her in the basement
of the building for most of her life. She eventually died and was buried in the basement
to obviate any questions from the officials. Bonnie tried to reassure the spirit and show
her how to move on to the place of light and serenity.
"If I
recall this occurred several times before there seemed to be quiet from the basement. Many
times after our scheduled sessions were over and I was inducing hypnosis in Bonnie I would
sit on the bed next to her as I talked, and the bed,Bonnie and myself would all
lift up in the air five or six inches and just kind of float there [my italics]. As I
recall there wasn't any other phenomena during these times, just a kind of pleasant little
rocking motion. It never was ascertained if Bonnie was causing this or myself or possibly
a spirit entity.
"At the
time Bonnie's health was deteriorating and a great deal of the money we were taking in was
going out for her doctors and medicine. Eventually it became necessary to leave the office
we were in and set up in the home she was renting. She was working days as an insurance
adjuster or something, but even that she would have to leave because of health problems.
This was the job though that she finally did get a small pension from.
"During
these not so good days we would often indulge ourselves with regression sessions as a
means of relaxation. It was during these sessions that Bonnie would report a [past] life
as a southern woman that was shot from the balcony of her home by a soldier [during the
Civil War]. She would also report a lifetime as an Indian woman, and mention a waterfall
near her teepee."
In another
letter dated 19 December 1994 (coincidentally the same date as the previous letter)
Forberg indicated that there was something strange and frightening to her that he would
encounter in hypnotic recall during many of her relaxation sessions:
"One
experience that always disturbed me was something that happened many times. After she was
deeply relaxed (in Hypnosis) she would say "Oh-Oh no, I don't want to go." She
would say this in her own typical quavering voice she would use when upset or frightened.
You lived with her for a long time; you may have heard that voice when she was ill, or in
pain. When I would bring her back to full consciousness, I would ask her where she didn't
want to go, and she would always look at me with a question in her deep dark eyes and
finally say, "I don't know. It seemed strange and frightening, and I didn't want to
go there, but I don't know where there is."
"This
may have been a memory of an abduction you talk about. In our work with one another as far
as I can remember we never tried to delve into alien abduction information, since to our
conscious minds neither of us was involved or had knowledge of these things. There was one
time when we were invited to a talk given by a man and his wife about their own abduction
[possibly 25 May 1978], and we went. We found it interesting, but as a man who has been
studying physics for years I am highly skeptical of physical space-time travel over the
immense distances involved between systems. I am however keenly aware of the various
possibilities in the Quantum dimensions for instant travel from one edge of the Universe
to the other.
"Bonnie
was interested, as I was, but she made no searching questions to the abductees. I was
aware over the time period that we worked together that Bonnie looked to me for
protection. I always assumed it was protection from her first husband. Bonnie told me he
could get pretty mean sometimes. Since I was also a second degree black belt instructor,
she probably felt a little safer. Hind sight makes me wonder if maybe she felt protected
also by a strong, controlled consciousness."
In that same
letter he recounted three episodes when Bonnie suddenly stopped breathing and collapsed:
"There were at least three times when I had to use mouth to mouth resuscitation on
Bonnie when she stopped breathing. The triggers for these events always seemed to be
excessive physical pleasure, and/or emotional over-involvement. After the first time it
happened I watched her very carefully. I was of the opinion then that it was a symptom of
her epilepsy. Generally I would watch for nearly a minute for her to start breathing again
on her own. When she didn't I would breath for her a couple of times. She would shudder a
little and begin breathing again on her own. There never seemed to be any memory on her
part that she was not with us during those episodes. I felt it better at the time that she
didn't know in case it would upset her." I also experienced those events before they
developed into grand mal seizures.
On 20 May
1979 Bonnie graduated from GeorgeAnn's Finishing and Modeling School. The graduation
ceremony was held at the Silver Lake Inn. It had taken her just a year to earn her degree
while carrying out all her many responsibilities. Jim Forberg escorted her, since she was
separated from her husband. She wore a formal full-length white flowing dress with layered
sleeves and blouse, white gloves, and a crown-like hair band. Graduation pictures of her
show a radiant smile on a thin and anemic looking face, evidence of her declining state of
health.
Very little activity
is indicated during the summer in the Alpha II patient schedule book, except for teaching
courses. She continued to work as an insurance adjuster. Most of the time she had just
enough money to meet basic expenses such as food, rent, and electricity, but neither her
husband or ex-husband were helping to support the children. She recalled buying the least
expensive foods possible, and accepting charity whenever it came her way. Her son Billy
told me that during this period he spent as much time with his father as with his mother.
By September, however, her health and financial situation had deteriorated to the point
that she had to apply for additional welfare money, listing increased child care costs.
NEXT PAGE (2 of 4)
Copyright Bruce
Cornet 1999
Last updated: 10/01/2005